Just something I had to get off my chest..
“The biggest mistake I have ever made is not being there for my baby girl, my only child. It seems as if she doesn’t need me for anything because I’ve been gone so long. I went to jail on my third strike leaving Victoria at the age of five. Fifteen years since I hugged, kiss and saw her face physically and I have nothing but pictures she took occasionally. I have made many mistakes in my lifetime and leaving her while she was young was the biggest mistake that I truly regret.” Kelly J. Alexander
That was written in one of the letters my dad sent me a while back. October 4,2008 was the day I saw my father for the first time since I was five. After that day I felt my life has changed dramatically, I finally met the man I used to call daddy. I didn't cry and i wasn't happy while meeting him but 2 days later on a 5 hr car ride i realized what had just happened! I find myself not focusing on my school work. I was emotional and couldn't concentrate on anything.
Today I realized I needed to get on my study grind and put my personal life to the side.
4 comments:
This is a powerful post. And a very big event. In your shoes, I expect I'd have a hard time refocusing too. Glad you are going to put you first, though, and take care of business.
I cannot begin to imagination the confusion you're going through, it must be increasingly difficult. Recently I've also undergone an event that made me re-evaluate my life and take a serious look at what exactly I was at college for. I hope you find what you're looking for, whatever that maybe, and somewhere along the way you find peace. I'm slowly beginning to learn it's better to talk to someone, anyone about it, instead of letting it linger in your mind. I've also found it's a lot easier to talk to someone outside the situation, someone who isn't going to have a bias. Again, I hope you find what you're looking for.
I know how you feel, i really do. I didn't meet my father until i was 13. My mom is extreamly Bipolar and she raised me telling me my dad was a murderer and a drug dealer, by age 10 she had convinced me he was dead. when my mom got arested my dad showed up in a heartbeat and ever since he has always been there. Don't let it bother you just be glad you finnally have him.
wow...this is really touching i guess i say i can relate in some way in others i cant, my father was never really in my life after i turned three, and when he did come it was like he was another stranger, and as i grew up he told me he wished we could build a relationhip now, and even tho i feel the right thing to do is try to build it... i feel sometimes that its worthless cause we have no connection and for many years i considered myself without a father and in my eyes i couldnt miss nothing i never had, but its a piece of me that do need him because he is part of who i am.
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